Dreaming Through A Tragedy

I’m gonna keep dreaming, even if I’m in a wheelchair. I’m 23! I have so much life left, a life that can be full! Why would I let an unfortunate tragedy rule over me for the rest my life? Yeah, what happened to me sucks A LOT but it’s not worth sitting sorrowful and reminiscing of the good times when I could walk. That would make me miserable and I don’t want that for my life. What negativity have you been holding onto? Do you want to be miserable for the rest of your life? I’ve already been down the road of regret and it led me to greater regret, remorse, and shame. As time ticks, that road gets long and lonely, darker by every step. You forget who you are and the only thing you can remember is who you used to be. You sit through each day withering away, becoming a waste. BUT you can stop it now and change your life. You have a purpose. Let God change your life. God met me on that road, turned me around, and pointed me back to my passion but if it wasn’t for him I don’t know where I would be. Because He fought for me, that is why I am going to dream. I am going to make my life count for Him, I’m not going to wither away.

I made a list of life goals. No, not a bucket list, which I do want to make one day, but a list I feel has deeper value. It’s not a list of destinations or thrill seeking attractions, it’s a list of goals that could change the trajectory of my life. If it is the end of my life and certain things aren’t in my destiny than I won’t be upset, rather, I will be proud that I dared to dream.

If you are feeling down, I hope this inspires you to make a life goal list for yourself!

Life goals:

I want to inspire

I want to live in my own house independently

I want to travel to new places

I want to graduate college

I want a family

I want to move my hands again independently

I want to walk again independently


3 thoughts on “Dreaming Through A Tragedy

  1. Richard Thompson says:

    Love your writing.

    As a former musician; after my accident, oftentimes I told people, if God would heal anything: I would want my hands.
    It’s almost maddening to know the chords on a guitar or piano, how to make them sing, but unable to form them; or to even hold the instrument without spazzing. Lol. Well not the piano of course.
    Then it came to mind; what instrument might be accessible in my condition? I mean, I could still sing. By God’s Grace He had allowed me to keep my voice, but I still had a desire to play something; after all, He created me and placed the gift of music in me.
    So my first choice was the harmonica; which, turns out to have been a blessing because it’s the only instrument that is played by breathing in and out. So while totally enjoying learning to play and make music: as a quadriplegic; it was benefiting my lungs, and strengthening the diaphragm too, which makes singing easier. (Oh how I remember times when just taking a deep breath would start a spasm session.)
    Next was the ukulele. My reasoning was that if I could retrain my fingers on something small; perhaps, I could graduate back to the guitar. There was pain pressing the strings even on the ukulele. You may know about the neuropathic pain. That is the sort that courses through my fingertips; ironically, on the hand I need to make chords on a guitar. I don’t experience that on my right hand, nope; right hand feels natural but the index finger refuses to straighten out: crazy cause that’s the hand I need for melody to play piano. I’m like; “Lord I accept that You know it’s difficult to try to do what I’m trying to do musically with my hands in this condition.” “So why didn’t You allow them to be the opposite way around; that would have been easier?” Like He doesn’t know right? Yet I realize it’s not punishment. My punishment was already paid for on a Cross, on Calvary’s hill, when Jesus shed His blood and gave His life for my sins. I see it as a molding process…the potters wheel. Nevertheless; He is showing me ways to adapt with the use of technology, all the while healing and improving my hand function to play without that technology.
    I know and believe that God can miraculously heal; by no means have I stopped to keep that ever before me, but if I’m on The Potters wheel,…then I want to stay here till I become a vessel of honor that He can use.
    Do I set goals? Yes. To keep on keeping on. The older I get the more that I realize; life is very short here on earth, we must do all that we can do for Him while we can. Storing up riches in Heaven. Loving Him, Praising Him, and showing others the forgiveness that He offers because of His great love for them. Amen.


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